Author: drlinda@sterlingsportmindset.com

I recently listened to a Podcast in which Alex Morgan talked about understanding her role on the US Women’s National Soccer Team and understanding how she could make an impact on the team given that role. 

Alex Morgan is one of the best Women’s Soccer players in the world and she discussed how she was a bench player when she first made it on the National Team. The role she was given was to come off the bench in a game (usually second half) and impact the game as needed. She didn’t play every game, and sometimes the coaches would tell her to warm up and not even put her in. Was she satisfied with being a bench player? No. But that was the role that was given to her at the time, and most importantly the role her team needed her in at the time. So when she got the opportunity to go on the field she tried to have the impact the team needed regardless of the amount of time she was on the field. 

She knew her role, and understood how to execute that role effectively for her team, but stayed hungry for more as she knew she had more to offer the team. For the last 6-7 years, Alex Morgan has been a starting forward for the US Women’s National Soccer team.

So how did she go from a bench player role to the starting forward role? 

The biggest thing was her mindset! 

She accepted what was out of her control; the role the coach gave her. And worked at what she could control. Like how she played when she did step on the field, how she supported her teammates from the bench, how she focused on improving every day in practice. She did not let the one little thing she couldn’t control consume her. 

She put the team first, and understood that what the team most needed of her was the role she was given. But she also stayed hungry for more and made sure to improve, show up on the field, and make the impact that was expected of her when she did get on the field. 

Ultimately, she was having such a big impact on a game in the times she came off the bench, that she earned that starting spot. She executed the role exactly as the team needed her to, the coach saw that and found a way to make that role develop into a starting position. 

Oftentimes we struggle with the role we’ve been given. Maybe it’s the role you have at work, the role you have in a group project, or on your team. If you want to change the role you are in, the best thing you can do is to focus on what you can control. Show up for yourself and continue to improve 1% every day. 

What is your role and how are you showing up every day to execute the role your team has given you? 

If you would like to chat about the role you’ve been given and how you can accept and own that role, sign up for an initial consult!

I was lying on the couch reading a book about coaching when I came across this phrase that kind of stuck with me. It was something along the lines of, “mistakes are the stepping stones to achievements.” It’s such a small phrase, but holds big meaning behind it. One that can apply to both sports and life. Since it was a book about coaching it made me think about softball, the girls I coach, and my playing career. In softball, mistakes lead to errors.

Which brings me to reflecting on my years of playing. 

Although there are many softball games that I cherish in my memory, there are two specific ones that I often look back on. So much so that I actually have the article and stats of those games printed out. One being a game that some may say is the best game I’ve ever pitch; the other is the last game I ever pitch. Both are very important to me, but their outcomes are complete opposite of each other. One led to a victory, while the other led to my career ending. However, the only one I want to focus on is the last game I ever played. So, let me just set the scene up for you:

It’s conference tournament, only us and two other teams are left. Only a few games away from winning the championship. It’s the bottom of the 12^th, the other team has a runner on third, and there is only 1 out. I’m on the mound putting my heart into every pitch, like I have the whole game. Lefty slapper up to bat, hit, hard grounder to 2^nd, error, runner scores, game over. Us: 4 runs, 9 hits, 6 errors. Them: 5 runs, 9 hits, 3 errors. Now, a lot of you could have predicted the outcome without me explaining the details just based on those ending stats. Which gets to my point…

 Errors. 

Those errors led to that loss. It happens, that’s life and I think it could make a good point to the girls I coach for a couple of reasons. First, being an athlete’s reaction when a teammate makes a mistake or error. After my teammate had made that error and the run scored, I didn’t get mad at her and blame her for her mistake. Because it wasn’t all her fault we had lost, and everyone’s made an error before. Heck, there were 5 others made just in that game.

Which gets me to the next point.

Without those mistakes and errors how will we learn and grow to get better? If you’re going to make a mistake wouldn’t you much rather make one knowing you were giving it your all? I mean you’re more likely to make a mistake if you constantly worrying about making a mistake.

Oddly enough, I think that game is the best game I’ve ever pitched. I don’t look back on that game and see that we lost. I look at that game and see that I went all out and left everything on that field. Knowing that even though it could be the last game I play, I wasn’t going to be scared to make a mistake. Making the outcome of the score unimportant when reflecting back, and the experience memorable. If only you knew what the other game I had mentioned earlier was. Then you would question my thoughts on my best game. But that’s a story for another time and another blog. Until then, go all out in everything you do and don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

Ready to get that “go all out” mindset? Schedule an initial consult today!

Everyone either knows a coach, is a coach, or has been a coach. Because of this I know each one of you have at one point in time thought, “What was that coach thinking!?” Hopefully I’ll be able to answer that question. 

From someone who was an athlete her whole life up until this point, I always knew that it took a certain kind of person to be a coach. Not just any coach, but a good coach. Although many have asked me if I would ever want to become a coach, I never thought of myself as one who could fulfill those big shoes. However, here I am talking to you guys; not as an athlete, but a coach. It has not quite been a year and I already see just how big these shoes are to fill. 

Now, you are probably already asking yourself the question, “Victoria, why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

My answer to this?

I don’t just want to be any coach.

I want to be a good coach. One whose athletes will look back on the things I taught them and say, “She helped me become better.” And I’m not just talking about becoming a better athlete, but a better person. As a coach who was just a college athlete only a year ago, I anticipate the young women on my team will look up to me . They will see me as a role model. They will see me, someone who has played at a higher level, and want to learn the skills I learned to get where I was. If I want to be a good coach to the girls on my team then I need to meet all of their expectations and more. This is why every day that I step into my role as coach, the shoes I am stepping into seem so big to fill.

An athlete to coach road block.

One of the first road blocks I have faced in my journey to become the best coach I can be has been a struggle I have always seemed to face without knowing it. That struggle is my youthfulness, or in other words, how young I look. 

Again, I already know what you’re thinking at this point, “Looking young is a blessing, how could that possibly be a struggle?” However, I work part-time as a cashier at a grocery store, and the number of people that come through my lane and ask if I’m old enough to scan alcohol is just past the point of being sad. 

Being a 22-year-old who has been mistaken on MULTIPLE occasions as being a 16-year-old, you might see a problem considering I coach a 16 and under travel softball team. I knew there would be an issue when I went to try-outs and one parent asked if I needed a player sign-up form…. You should have seen her face when I told her I was the coach. 

My biggest challenge as a former athlete and new coach.

Because of my youthfulness, being taken seriously has always been a challenge. I knew that my biggest task to face as a new coach would be earning respect from players and parents. When approached with this issue I knew the only way to show how serious I was about this role I have taken on was to create a list of expectations for myself, my players, and their parents. I recently held a team meeting where I gave everyone this list and went over each point in depth. Hopefully, these expectations set a good tone for how I want my team to be and show how serious I am about my role as a coach.

One of the first things I’ve learned from just talking with Dr. Sterling, was how much athletes need and want structure in their lives. And I can agree how true that is. Anyone who knows me knows my love for making lists. This list of expectations is the first of many that I have made towards my journey to becoming a good coach. And somewhere along this journey I hope to be able to answer the question, “What was that coach thinking!?”.

Ready to take a look at your own expectations and step it up? Schedule an initial consult today!

Yesterday both of my sons’ track shoes came in the mail. A neon green pair of Nike throwing shoes and a neon yellow, green, and blue pair of Hoka distance spikes.

New shoes. New season. Let’s do this.

Should have been super exciting. They’ve been waiting on them to arrive. Regardless of age or sport, new shoes day is an awesome day.

But the day these shoes arrive isn’t happy.

Both of my sons have big goals for the track & field season.

A season that is now on hold.

When the new shoes arrived, so did the announcement. No school and no practice. And no season until…TBA

My middle schooler said, “I just need one meet.”

My high school sophomore hasn’t said much at all. Simply took his new, shiny soled, just-waiting-for-the-2-mile shoes up to his room.

That’s really tough.

It’s tough for athletes, coaches, parents, sport psychs, and even those who are a sport psych/parent combo.

Even with the uncertainty, we can focus on controlling the controllables. Right now a lot of that is mindset.

3 Sport Psychology Tips for a Season on Hold

There are so many things we could dive into, but with so much going on right now, I’d start with these and build from there.

Sport Psych Tip #1 Focus

Focus: You can only focus on so many things while practicing, during competition, or when living through a pandemic. Make sure your focus is where it matters. Train yourself to recognize what you can or cannot control and be able to shift your focus when necessary.

Here’s a quick activity to help you determine where to put your mental energy. Draw a large circle. Within that circle draw a smaller one. Label the inner circle as Things I Can Control. Label the outer circle as Things I Cannot Control. Reflect on life right now and think about what goes in each circle.

Example: You can’t control the cancellations, but you can control your level of physical activity and your self-talk.

You’ll likely find you’re focusing on some things that are out of your control. That’s completely normal, especially with the current life stressors, but it’s also unhelpful to keep your focus there. It’s unhelpful for not only your sport mindset, but for your life-in-general mindset.

Once you’ve identified the categories, you can refer back to it often. When you find yourself worrying about the uncontrollable, note it. “That’s not under my control” and reset to direct your energy to the controllable.

Sport Psych Tip #2 Training Log

Create a Training Log: You’ve got to keep moving if you want to be ready when the season resumes. But how do you stay motivated day in and day out? Tracking your progress will help you see where you’ve been and keep you focused on where you’re headed. Training logs can look different for every athlete. They don’t have to be perfect or pretty. Ideally, it’s going to include the date, objectives, and reflection.

Objectives: 1-3 things you want to focus on.

• Can be set day of or post-training on the day before
• May be based on insights from film review, coach feedback, or past journal entries
• Incorporate mindset (e.g. attitude & effort) along with physical components

Reflection: Review your performance physically & mentally. Ask yourself questions like

• What did I accomplish today?
• Did I focus on my objectives?
• What went well?
• Where could I improve?
• What did my self-talk sound like?

Sport Psych Tip #3 Imagery

Imagery: Imagery is a multi-purpose skill. It helps with confidence, motivation, and several other mental skills. When we can’t physically compete, the next best thing is to mentally compete. We often use this skill with injured athletes as a way to get mental reps. The same neurons fire in your brain whether you’re doing or visualizing.

Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and mentally take yourself through your performance. See yourself arriving at the venue. Take yourself through your warm up, the start of the contest, through the highlights, and end with a stellar performance.

Make sure to keep it positive, present tense, and detailed “I arrive at the stadium. I put on my perfectly broken in, bright, bright neon green shoes. I’m confident and ready as I approach the start line.”

When your season is on hold, you step up your sport psychology game.

You know how sports movies have the training scenes? A montage of an athlete working hard, facing, obstacles. Blood, sweat, and tears. All set to music. Leading up to their moment to shine.

That’s where you are. In the training sequence. Your own montage moment. And your mindset will help make it happen.

For support along the way, reach out to teammates and other athletes who are in the same position. At Sterling Sport Mindset, we’re here for you too. We offer initial consultations to get started. Online sessions available from any location.

Go get ’em!

P.S. Are you a former client? Now would be a great time to check-in. We’d love to hear how you’re doing & help you navigate this unprecedented situation. Email or visit our contact page to schedule.

Canceled.

No meets, no double-headers, no conference tournament, no championship.

It’s going to take a while to process.

For some, you were at the culmination of your season…maybe even your career. NCAA Indoor Track & Field competitors, you were at the actual venue. So close to competing. On the brink of realizing goals you’ve worked tirelessly for. As I type, I know these words sound flat. They don’t even begin to capture what you’ve put into this season, this athletic career. And I can only begin to imagine the suck right now.

Actually, right now it probably hasn’t fully sunk in. Doesn’t seem real. What does seem real right now? Nothing is normal. No back from Spring Break social gatherings. Classes moved online. Your favorite jacket locked in your dorm room. Can’t go on a vacation. Not sure if you even want to go to the store.

The world is a little scary right now. A lot of uncertainty. Concern for yourself and those around you. Fear. Panic. Angry social media posts.

Even with all of this going on…

It’s okay to grieve your canceled athletic season.

It’s okay to grieve your season. Even during a pandemic.

It’s okay to be sad. Devastated. Heartbroken. Pissed. Furious. Bitter.

You don’t have to be happy. No need to be brave or smile in this moment.

When asked how you’re doing, I know you may feel the need to say something along the lines of “I know it’s just a game” “there are bigger concerns out there” “we just want everyone to be safe.” And I know you truly do care about the safety of others, but I also know that the following is true.

Diminishing your pain doesn’t keep others healthy and it sure doesn’t help you heal.

You’re allowed to say that to anyone who says otherwise to you.

Side note: No one knows what to say right now. And many will unintentionally say the wrong thing.

Sport psychology thoughts on grieving the athletic season.

Take the time. Feel the feelings. If you bottle them up, it gets worse. Cry. Journal. Stay on the couch for 3 days. Take a walk. Play video games all day. Take some time for you.

Rushing the process doesn’t work. Feeling through it does.

When you’re ready, do a thought download. Write down all of the things you’re thinking and feeling. Really, write it all down. Don’t censor yourself. There’s power in getting it out of your head and onto paper.

Once you’ve written all the things. Do another list. Think about why you play. Write everything you’re proud of from this season, past seasons, and from your entire athletic career. Every training goal achieved. All the practices you pushed through. The bond you developed with your teammates. Your desire to play up until it was called. You’re a badass, even if it doesn’t feel like it now.

Once you’ve given yourself some time (however long it takes), start dreaming again. Sport. Life. You’ve got goals. When you’re ready, you’ll go get ’em.

If you or your teammates are struggling or you’d like help processing, please reach out. We’re here via phone or online from anywhere. You can reach us through our website or via email at drlinda@sterlingsportmindset.com.

More info about initial consultations available here: https://sterlingsportmindset.com/initial-consultation/

To book an appointment: https://sterlingsportmindset.clientsecure.me

If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, please call Mental Health Crisis Hotline (24/7): 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)